Let's get real...

1 Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 2 Blessed is the one whose sin the LORD does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.3 When I kept silent,  my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.”  And you forgave the guilt of my sin. 6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you while you may be found; surely the rising of the mighty waters will not reach them. 7 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.  8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. 9 Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.  10 Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him. 11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart! (Psalm 32)

I was reading psalm 32 and it reminded me of when a friend of mine said that he couldn’t really read me do to the fact that (whenever it comes up) I shy away from sharing personal stuff. I didn’t really think about it at first and was like whatever, but then it really started to bother me for some reason. I thought I was being weird but then I really started thinking about it. I do exactly that (a lot) I shy away from anything personal, like a defense mechanism that is a byproduct of who I used to be before I had Christ and the Gospel in my life. Even in my prayer life with God I get into this habit. I hold stuff back and just throw out surface level things which ultimately get me nowhere. I feel more disconnected than before and a feeling of unrest settles in my spirit.

A phrase that I’ve adopted in my prayer life recently is “its about to get real” haha. As strange as it sounds and feels saying that to God…it is exactly what is going on in my spiritual life from the inside (meaning my personal walk with God) and out. 

I felt like that's what David is saying as well.  He says that he knows the Lord forgives (v1,2) but that he still felt like he was running but getting nowhere basically, because he was trying to hide things like sin or what he was struggling with (v3,4).  What happens after that is something big that really convicted me and connected with much that God was showing me personally with CK4 this summer.  He confesses what he is struggling with or going on in his life, wants others to do the same, and in turn finds rest in the Lord. Where does he find it? In the LORD!

Something huge that God has really been hitting me in the face with lately is the fact that the gospel is our main focus, so our peace and security is not found in forgetting or hiding sin/experiences/personal struggles but rather in the Lord. We should rather delight in the freedom that Christ has given us, the deliverance that we have been immersed in and make that the center of our lives boldly. We should be open about our shortcomings, sins, and struggles...not in the sense that we tweet or facebook it, but that we use it as witness and to build relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ.

I have really been seeing this in my personal walk with God lately, the fact that a consistent commitment to chasing after Gods will, will then lead to an overwhelming affection towards God, which can be found through our weakness and shortcomings only because of HIS victory in the Gospel. Nothing that we can do (or hide) will make us better and on the flip side of that nothing we could do can be too shameful because Christ conquered shame. The Gospel is over everything.

Instead of shying away, being afraid, and disconnected in our own spiritual lives as well as with others…its time to get real.